Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
