My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
