how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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