plz talk dirty to me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
