:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
