I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
