i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
