he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
