More tranny stories later!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
