I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Oh god it's open bar.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
