i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
