Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
