Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
