Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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