So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
