I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
