just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
