Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
