East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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