What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
