What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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