Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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