bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
