Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
