yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
