let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
