We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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