i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
