She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
