I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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