I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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