I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
