If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
