we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
