Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
