sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He? As in you personified your dick?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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