Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
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Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
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Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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