so that wasnt chicken after all
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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