dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
