chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
