I bet he comes in French.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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