So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so let's talk penis.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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