I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
