love makes seman taste better
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
