I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
