D3 body, D1 cock
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
