Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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