What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My first STD was from a foam party
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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