Where is the hickey?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
