u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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