If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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