Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
