Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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