dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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