My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
