She just used a chaser for red wine.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
