Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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