is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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