$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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