yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
