So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
