I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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