You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
whose parrot is this?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
